TAPPING IS THE KEY TO THE SECRET

The Secret is a revolutionary Self-Improvement DVD sweeping the planet, that explains how our thoughts create our reality. Tapping is a powerful acupressure technique that eliminates negativity. Using them together you can literally achieve anything you want.

The Secret is the Law of Attraction. It says that thoughts become things, whether they are negative or positive thoughts. We are always creating our reality, whether we know it or not. It's just that as often as we create what we want - positive thoughts, we also create what we don't want - negative thoughts.

Tapping is a meditation/self-hypnosis technique that helps you let go of negative thoughts and feelings. Every negative thought has a feeling attached to it. That feeling is an imbalance in your body's nervous system. You tap various acupressure points on your body to release that feeling, and the negative thought starts to change.

Whatever positive thought you try to focus on, negative thoughts jump up to get in the way. This is due to the body's survival mechanism being over-enthusiastic about it's job. Based on past experience, it perceives danger in what you are wanting to do. It's warning you that the last time you did something even remotely similar, it resulted in feeling bad - so it brings up the negative feelings ahead of time to make sure you don't do it. Negative feelings lead directly to negative thoughts.

The survival mechanism is doing its job, but a little bit too well - it gets confused with the complexities of modern life, and starts matching situations to past experiences that aren't really relevant, and bringing up feelings of danger when there are none.

Tapping literally removes the feeling attached to the past experience. That way the irrelevant warning feelings don't come up, and you don't think negative thoughts, and it becomes much easier to hold a positive mental picture of what you want, and take appropriate action.

This is extremely powerful - Tapping is the Key to the Secret.

How to Do Anything

This is simplified from The Secret, and also inspired by The Science of Getting Rich:

1. Make a PICTURE of what you want
2. Take the FIRST STEP towards making it happen

When you think about it, we follow this process to do anything, whether it's making a cup of tea or building a skyscraper. For big tasks we often chunk it down and make mental pictures of various milestones along the way, but this is just a detail.

So why does this process fail?... Negative thoughts, of course!

When we go to take that first step, that's when most negative feelings come up. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what other people might think, fear of it just being hard work. Our sub-conscious mind is reminded of a previous time when we took a similar step and it ended badly. So naturally it's bound to warn you not to do that again... even though this time it's a totally different situation.

The feeling comes up, and we rationalise it with negative thoughts. We talk ourselves out of what it is we want to do, and go and watch television instead, or smoke a cigarette, or eat, or drink, or maybe just lie down and stare at the ceiling, wondering why we are such a failure.

The other option is to Tap away the feeling. Work out at which point the feeling was the strongest, and what that feeling reminds you of - when have you felt it before? When you find the first time, use Tapping to wipe the slate clean. Then take that next step again, and find that it's effortless to do so.

When you think about your mental picture, of when you've got where you want to be - what does it feel like to be there? Hopefully it feels pretty good... But maybe there are negative feelings lurking beneath the good feelings. Jump right into the picture, and look for fears, worries, self-doubts. What's the worst that could happen in that picture?

If there are any negative feelings in that picture, then guess what... your sub-conscious mind will find ways to avoid it. It will sabotage you, probably by convincing you that the next step you want to take is one that will actually take you further from your goal.

So tap away any negative feelings you find in your mental picture. The positive feelings that are there are your motivation to get there, positive feelings can't be tapped anyway. But underneath those, find each negative feeling, trace it back to find when you first felt it, and tap away the feelings stored in that memory.

If you apply this process repeatedly and thoroughly, all negative thoughts relating to your goals are vanquished. You can literally do anything you want.

Why You Must First Love Yourself

Everyone has heard that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. The reason for this is simple - our ideal partner is a reflection of us.

We attract people that are like us. Not just in terms of romantic, sexual/physical attraction. We attract them metaphysically - these people tend to turn up in our lives.

Each of us has a unique belief system, a way of seeing the world that is slightly different to everyone else's. It's almost like our ego has a fingerprint. What turns us on, what turns us off. What we feel is important.

Our political preferences, tastes in food and music, and so on, all arise out of this belief system. Our particular thoughts and feelings resonate with different aspects of the world around us. If your thoughts are dark, you like heavy metal. If your thoughts are happy, you like cheesey music. We like certain foods, like for example, coffee, because of the way they make us feel.

The types of people that come into our lives are affected by our beliefs. We meet people who have made the same sorts of choices we make. Where to live, which bar to go to, which supermarket to shop at. All these choices reflect our values and our way of being from day to day, minute to minute.

When you enter a seminar or lecture theatre, where do you sit? On the front row where you can ask questions or the back where you can fall asleep without being noticed? Our personality is reflected in the places we turn up... and so we end up being surrounded by people who are the same way.

Romantic compatibility has a lot to do with this. Why do we always ask our love interest what sort of music they like? We want to know they are on our wavelength. We want to know they are drawn to the same emotional experience, so we can trust that they will understand us.

It seems like this is easily faked. All you have to do is listen to someone talk passionately and agree with them. Find something from your own experience that is similar emotionally and share it. But this can be hard work. It's much easier if your passions really are similar emotionally. That way, things just happen.

The problem comes when you are romantically attracted to people who are not on your wavelength. This means, people who are not right for you, but who have something that you respect, or admire, or just desire. You want to be with the other person to feel good about yourself, to fill some hole inside you or to change what other people think about you. These relationships are doomed to failure from the start, because of the amount of energy it takes to maintain them.

Do you like yourself? Would you be attracted to someone who was the opposite sex version of you? Are the people you are attracted to your mirror in terms of life philosophy, success, social hierarchy?

The right person for you has similar political and religious views. Their life philosophy, work ethic, wit matches yours perfectly. There are certain adjustments to make across the genders, for example power in men roughly equates to looks in women. But the stress in the relationship is directly proportional to your differences. A certain amount of stress is healthy and keeps things interesting, but only up to a certain breaking point.

When you think of the men or women who naturally come into your life, the ones who have the same interests and world view as you, are you attracted to them? The girls or guys who you know you could get, and just be with, just by turning round and saying you wanted them, are they the sort of person you want? Are they the sort of person you want to be? If you're honest with yourself, you'll probably realise that the things you don't like about them are the things you don't like about yourself. So you reject that person and look for the qualities you want to see in yourself, in someone else.

If you like yourself, you will like the people you naturally meet, and they will like you. If you don't like yourself, you will waste energy trying to get with people who aren't like you, or you will settle for being with someone you don't like.

There are two solutions to this. The first, and most important, is to learn to like yourself. The second, is to turn yourself into the person that you want to be.

If you want to like yourself, one way to do it is to realise that you are the perfect You that anyone could be. No-one else can do the things you do quite like you. No-one sees the world quite the same way. No-one has precisely your talents, ambitions, or lack thereof. No-one screws things up the same way, no-one makes the same mistakes and faux pas'. At being you, for all your faults and weaknesses, you would get an A+. It's ok to be the way you are - it must be, because the way you are IS the way you are.

Once you adopt this philosophy or one like it with regard to yourself, you will start seeing others the same way. The truth is, you probably are attracted to the opposite sex equivalent of you, it's just you're also turned off to them, for the same reasons you're turned off from yourself. Accept yourself, and you will accept them.

Many people think that their drive to improve themselves stems from the things they don't like about themselves. Feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction, or just dislike and hatred for yourself actually won't change, no matter how much you improve yourself. It is the feeling that needs to be dealt with, not whichever reason you rationalise at the time for feeling it.

It's actually easier to change and improve yourself once you accept yourself. The same negative feelings of self-non-acceptance lock us in to being those things that we want to change. Change the feeling first, and the specific details will sort themselves out.

Look at the sort of person you want to get together with. You can become the sort of person who they would want to be with, assuming that you're not already. If the person they want to be with, is the sort of person that you don't like, then you'll have to let go of those feelings, because those feelings keep you from being like them.

Take the school computer nerd, who wants to get with the cheerleader. But the cheerleader likes the football players. She's physically active, she parties a lot, and is confident in herself. So she looks for guys who are physically active, party a lot, and are confident in themselves. It makes no sense that she would want to be with a guy who locks himself in his bedroom, is anti-social, and can't look her in the eye when he speaks.

So to get the girl, the nerd must become the football player. He can still play to his strengths with computers, and he needn't play football. But he needs to adopt their way of being in terms of inward qualities. If he is truly attracted to the cheerleader, then he wants those qualities for himself anyway, and he dislikes the contradicting qualities he already possesses.

The nerd that truly doesn't want to become the football player doesn't truly want the cheerleader. He wants the bookish girl who is already on his wavelength. Either way, the solution is rooted in self-acceptance. If he accepts himself, he will accept the bookish girl. If once he accepts himself, he finds that he wants to become a footballer, he can have the cheerleader too.

Once you accept yourself you will realise your true motives for wanting someone you can't have. If you want to be with them to compensate for your own shortcomings, you will no longer want them. If you want them because you want to be like their ideal partner, then you will become that person. So there is never a need to change yourself for someone else.

Accept yourself, and you will like the potential partners you can get.

Improve yourself, and you will get the partner you want.

Ending Procrastination

The only reason you procrastinate is that a part of you doesn't want to do whatever it is you are procrastinating. Tapping is one way to permanently kill that part.

People often say they need more motivation to achieve their goals, and this is true to an extent. However I would argue that if you want more motivation to do something, then you already want to do it, and that should be all the motivation you need. What you really need is to remove the psychological barriers to doing it.

As a student I always used to procrastinate my essays. They felt like really hard work, I didn't think they'd be good enough, and I always had other things I wanted to do. So I'd leave them until the last minute, when I knew I'd get in trouble if I didn't do them. The fear of getting in trouble gave me the extra motivation.

That's what people say when they need they want more motivation, they think they need to fear not doing something more than they fear doing it.

Tapping is a way to remove the negative feelings around doing something in the first place. When I work with students now on procrastination, we find all their negative beliefs around doing their assignments, and tap those beliefs away.

What happens is that when you think about doing your task, your negative self-talk starts up. I'd be sitting at my desk with a blank sheet of paper in front of me, and I'd start thinking all sorts of limiting thoughts; "I don't know how to start", "I'll never get this done", "I don't understand the topic", "all my friends are elsewhere having fun".

It's not comfortable to think those thoughts. So to distract yourself from the uncomfortable feelings, you distract yourself from their source, and go off and do something else instead. But of course the work itself isn't really the source of the feelings, the feelings just arise from your own mind thinking the wrong thing.

With Tapping, you can literally find those negative thoughts one-by-one, and release the negative feeling that you associate with them. That way you probably won't think them again, and if you do, they won't have the same emotional impact, so you'll dismiss them easily.

• Try Tapping RIGHT NOW - I've created a video Killing Procrastination that takes you through the basic steps. To get the most obvious change, apply it to something you really don't want to do. You might not instantly feel like you are eager to do it, but you should at least find it a little easier. If you are new to Tapping, the process might seem a bit strange - you might want to watch the introductory video on the front page of the site first.



• Check out my E-Book - For a fuller understanding of how your limiting beliefs stop you achieving your goals, take a look at my e-book. It includes clear instructions on how to find the negative beliefs that stop you achieving any goal you like.

It's amazing how well this technique works. I used to hate tidying my room and doing the washing up, for example. When I tapped away all the negativity around doing those things I actually started to enjoy them!

When I tried this technique with my friend, we tapped away all the negative feelings and beliefs that were stopping him do his taxes. When we had tapped them all and he couldn't think of any more, I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to work on... and he said no, he'd rather go and do his taxes.

It takes persistence, but the way you are with one thing is the way you are with all things. I found that by tapping away the feelings and beliefs that made me procrastinate doing the washing up, tidying my room, and my taxes, I pretty much tapped away the feelings that made me procrastinate doing anything.

I hope you'll have the same result.